So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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