I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
