morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
