dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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