hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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