her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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