It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
