I'm jealous of your bromance
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator