I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
