All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.