...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?