i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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