Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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