I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
