I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
