I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
