i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
