i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
accomplished twins. life is a go
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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