I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
