i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize