with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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