I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
