you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
