actually, I'm a sock model
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
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