Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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