There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
