it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
