The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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