What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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