No stitches, just platelets and will power
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize