Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
