I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
