I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize