so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
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He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
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You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.