Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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