shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
