From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
