I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize