It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
