Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
