I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize