He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
