I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
