I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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