What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
