How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize