I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
