The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
