I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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