i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Randomize
