My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
