I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
