You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
