i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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