that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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