When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
