I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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