Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
