Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Send help, water and tortillas.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
