So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
