How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
