i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
