The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
