Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
