Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
