you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
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