I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
