He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
